Sunday, July 27, 2008

Hey Mr. DJ.....







Ever since I was a little kid I've always wanted to be a DJ. I remember standing behind the DJ booth at my aunt and uncle's wedding watching the DJ spin the latest jams. I liked how he had control of the party. Every time he put on a new record, the crowd danced harder and had more fun. Every 5 minutes someone would come up to the DJ and give him props because he had the party jumping.



Since then, I've always wanted to be a DJ but I never did it. Well last week I was leaving the gym and the Director told me about the member cookout they were having. Then she asked me if I knew of a DJ that she could hire and she would pay them $300. Well, I aint no damn dummy so I told her I could do it. I never once told her that I had no equipment or experience but for a chance to make $300 in an afternoon, I figured "I got 2 degrees, this can't be that hard".



So the first thing I did was hit up Google to find out where I could rent some speakers and a mixer. Then I hit the hot 99 radio website to find their play list. The gym I go to is mad family friendly (YMCA) so I knew songs like "My Neck, My Back", "Put It In Your Mouth", and "P***Y Poppin" were off limits. I ended up downloading (for free of course) Miley Cyrus aka Hanna Montana, Chris Brown, Rihanna, Jonas Brothers, and the soundtrack for High School Musical.




So Friday, armed with my laptop, 2 rented JBL speakers, a mixer, and 2 virtual turntables (thanks to a pirated copy of Virtual DJ software) I headed to the venue. As I unpack the speakers, open the mixer, and start to set up, I realized I aint know what the hell I was doing. After a call back to the spot where I rented the speakers, I realized that I had the speakers plugged into the wrong channel. So I got that all set up and started cranking the tunes.



Overall it went well. Only one complaint, and that was from some lady who called me rude. I guess she thought I was playing music for no good reason, and didn't realize they were throwing the member cookout. I guess the big ass grill with hot dogs and hamburgers wasn't enough of a clue. Anyway, people danced to my mix of Jackson 5 hits, and I got compliments for playing a wide variety of music. I even got 2 more gigs lined up, and a few more "Do you have a card" inquires. So if anyone needs a DJ, hit me up mistahsmif@hotmail.com. I'll do weddings, quinceaneras, Bar Mitzvah's, Sweet 16's or anything else you can think of.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

But I Never Have A Problem With My First Class Seat....






I don't fly that often, but I do hit the sky every now and then. After the drive to San Diego I decided to buy a Buddy Pass for the trip back home. If you don't know, there are rules to flying on a Buddy Pass. With a Buddy Pass you have to fly standby with the lowest priority, but if you get a flight you can fly first class if a seat is available. If people who missed a flight try to get on the flight you want to take, you will be bumped. Therefore, flying on a Friday or Sunday is not a good idea. I was told that flying on a Monday is good because not as many people fly on Monday as they do on Friday and Sunday. So Monday morning I wake up at 4:30 trying to catch the first flight out of San Diego.







We get to the airport and I automatically knew that it was going to be trouble. The airport was packed. The line was crazy just to park and let me out the car. I get inside the airport and the line for my airline was long as hell. After waiting 15 minutes, I check my bag and get my boarding pass. My flight was leaving in 30 minutes, but the TSA line was looking long as hell too. After the 25 minute wait, I rushed to put on my shoes and ran to the terminal for my flight. I get to the counter and the agent tells me that the flight was full. No problem, there was another flight leaving for Atlanta in 1 hour.





So I kill time by going to the airport McDonald's to eat a $10 breakfast of 2 biscuit sandwiches and a drink. After breakfast, I go to the gate for the next flight to Atlanta and it's looking crowded. The agent tells me that this flight is full and gives me another boarding pass for the next flight to Atlanta. That flight comes and goes without me as it is over booked as well. It gets to be noon and I'm still in San Diego. After missing the next 2 flights to Atlanta, it's 6:00 and I'm told my last hope for the evening is to catch the "Red Eye" at 10pm to Atlanta. I'm sitting there getting pissed off and a guy who worked for the airline who was stranded in Atlanta himself starts telling me to look for other flights and not just flying through Atlanta to get to DC and he tells me I can catch the flight he is going to try to take to Salt Lake City and get to DC from there. I tell him that I will take my chances on the "Red Eye" cause I'm not a fan of Salt Lake City. Actually, I hate the damn Utah Jazz and that was my reasoning.




So I sit for a few hours and wait for the red eye to Atlanta. As I'm sitting there I notice a brother, a Spanish chick, and another Spanish chick with her 10 year old daughter all with buddy passes. So we talk and tell each other our horror stories about our day in the airport.




So the boarding starts for the red eye and they are calling about 10 names and the people who they are calling are nowhere in sight. The gate agent runs to the TSA checkpoint to see if they are there held up by security but they're not. So the agent says "OK" and starts calling us Buddy Pass holders to line up. So we line up and we are about to walk down the ramp onto the airplane when them 10 niggas who they were calling come running toward the gate, McDonald's bags in hand. Man I wanted to cuss them bamma ass niggas out so bad. The gate agent tells them that their seats were about to be given away and in true ghetto fashion they say that they were held up by security. Are you serious? When in the hell did TSA start serving Double Quarter Pounders and nuggets? So they board the plane and the agent says that she is going to check to see if any seats were left. I already knew her answer before she came back and told us all the bad news. Not to mention the plane started backing up from the gate before she got back to where we were lined up. So us 5 Buddy Pass holders look at each other and take our seat because we knew we were about to spend the night at the airport.




Talking to the other 4 people I learned that the brother was trying to get home to Atlanta so he could get up the next morning and drive to Chicago to pick up his son and daughter. The Spanish chick that was by her self was trying to get to Texas so she could get her car and drive back to San Diego with her husband. And the Spanish chick with her daughter was in San Diego for a Quincera and was trying to get back to Atlanta to her new born baby that was only 3 weeks old. After talking for a few hours we all start to nod off.




I was sleeping well for sitting on an airport bench when airport security notifies us all that we have to go back to the airport entrance because they had to do a security sweep. So we all walk over there and get in line to get boarding passes. The agent told me that my best bet was to go through Salt Lake City because the Atlanta flight was overbooked. After getting my boarding pass for the Salt Lake City flight and a grande coffee from Starbucks I head to the gate.





The area is packed, and I knew I would not make this flight either. As I'm waiting this crazy looking chick starts telling me about how she just got back from Jamaica and how the US exploits Jamaica and how impoverished Jamaica is. I mean I like Shabba Ranks, Beanie Man, and weed like the next person, but I just wasn't trying to hear what she was telling me. Then she asks me to watch her bag so she can go to Starbucks. I agree, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to and she came back and gave me a sandwich that she bought me for watching her bag. I tell her thank you and receive the bad news that the flight to SLC was full. I take my sandwich and walk towards the Atlanta flight, but I knew that flight was full as the 4 people who spent the night with me at the airport was still waiting.



As I walked away in disgust, I hear the final boarding call for a flight to New York. I asked the agent if there was room and there was, so he printed me a pass and I walked on the airplane. I looked at my pass for my seat assignment and see that I'm in seat 3D. Yesssss, First Class. Then I remembered them Atlanta niggas who came at the last minute and decided not to get happy until we were up in the air. Well this time, there was no surprises and we were off.





First Class was lovely. Big ass leather seats, breakfast, drinks, and free TV. So after my breakfast with all the trimmins and 4 vodka and tonics I leaned back in my leather seat and watched 2 episodes of The Wire. After landing at JFK airport I had to catch a shuttle to Laguardia, run through that airport like OJ Simpson just to catch my flight to DC. Well I made it back to DC. Thanks to my lucky sandwich which I held in my hand for the entire flight from San Diego to NY and NY to DC. And I made it to DC 39 hours after I originally got to the San Diego airport.